SO much has happened

Things change right? all the time...but sometimes you dont want it to...

My life changed so quickly after losing baby T. I know I shouldnt wallow, but Im not wallowing, im speaking bout it, well writing, after all, she was my lil black dot. It helps me in alot of ways, speaking about it, cos I never have the guts to speak bout it to anyone.

It still hurts.

I thought I would be over it by now, but everytime I see someone elses tummy alil something inside of me falls. I cant help for this. I really cant.

Things with X baby daddy, is kind of really nice. We have this understanding. I dont even know how it works but it just does. We not together, i like it this way. There's no "where you going, with who, what you doing, you cant go there"... it just flows which ever way the river goes...

We dont speak about our baby we lost...but we did once, we both just agreed that God knew we werent ready and He didnt want us to raise the baby the way we would have ended up raising her. He wanted a family for her, not a single mother and whorelike father... so thats what comforts me abit.

So things has changed since then.. I cant wait to expect again someday, and the next time it'll be perfect...lol, i even miss the terrible morning sickness I had. Its so strange...