The lil dot

Saturday morning I had the sudden urge to go hava look at the growing thingamajig in my tummy, (it cant be termed a baby yet cos its just an embryo), so thats exactly what I did...

Arriving at the doctors was a nervewrecking experience on its own, why you may ask???? well, i was all by myself (didnt wanna tell baby daddy im going, cos well i didnt want him there), then its my family doctor, so I had to make real sure I was well informed regarding the patient doctor confidentiality thing, cant have him leaking the dirt during the next familia check up you know...

I dont even know why I really didnt tell baby daddy I was going, coz 1, he would have loved the experience and 2, since my first post about him, we were kinda mending things, being civil and talking bout everything surrounding the baby and somehow I felt releaved knowing we would could do this together.

I know i know, sometimes its all wishful thinking but he really wants to be involved in Baby T's life, so maybe for now Im just giving him the benfit of the doubt...

Ok well im so off the point now...

focus...focus...

So anyhoo... I was kept waiting for almost an hour as the consultation room was rather full and well people just tend to love my doctor... i swear, there aint one day that place is actually empty except on days that he goes to court...for what you ask??? I have no idea... but I think he does all those injury case for the accident fund...come on know those ones... when you involved in a accident and your doctor makes up all these fake injuries so that you can benefit from the road accident fund... well anyway...

So Im sitting there right, and this indian chick and her 3year old boy scoots next to me, throughout this awkward seating her son has this bogey in his nose that he keeps playing with, nasty i tell ya. he looks me in the eyes and sticks his finger up his mucous filled nose and digs right in.. i swear if it was a diamond mine, he'd be an instant billionaire. I almost puked. But hey, they just kids right?

When the receptionist finally called my name, i jumped up, most releaved I could get away from the diamond digger.

Walking into the docs room, he looks at me and laughs... this is how the convo went...

"So doc, tell me, how does this patient doc confidentiality thing work?"

"Well basically you tell me and I shut up..." (with this smiling what have you done look)

"Ok if thats the case (i pause)... Im pregnant...i know I am, Ive got the symptoms, Ive got three tests to prove it but i just wanna know how far I am."

"Ok.. what have you decided?" (now he's making me real edgy, he has this disappointed look on his face)

"Ive decided to keep her, and thats all there is to it"

"Ok lets get you on the scanner and determine the pregnancy and take it from there"

And that was it... that small gesture of disappointment ended right there...and im glad...

I go through to the scan room and basically I sat there with my thoughts for almost half an hour as he attended to the last 2 patients.
But this was enough time for me to called "my life support-GIA" so she can get her ass over there and experience this with me...

I pace round the room up and down, somehow i was really nervous, i cursed her a few times for taking that long, but when she rocked up.. i was somewhat relieved.. just that assuring smile, you know the one that just tells you alls gonna be ok... yeah that one, when i saw it i relaxed, somewhat...

So now the moment arrives, well after some more waiting and stressing, doc walks in, asks me to lie down. the coldness of the scanning gel makes me even more nervous. by this time i could almost die of excitement, even had nausea which i kept to myself.

he continues talking the hole time, and basically it would have been better if he just kept real quiet but anyhoo...

GIA peers over his shoulder trying to see whatever it was they were looking at. but every so often looks my way. And there it is.. the lil black dot...

"Theres a sac... let me just measure it..." doc looks at me does his measurements and says, 5weeks 6days...

I felt like I was about to collapse, All the feelings I was experiencing was incredible. I looked at the screen again and agan... tears there just not visible... there she was... MOMS LIL BLACK DOT